I cried when I found out I was pregnant with my second child. While I was happy to expand my family, I knew the task of growing a human was not easy. In addition to anticipating the grueling physical demand of pregnancy, multiple people in my family were dealing with medical issues and the Covid-19 pandemic had just turned the world completely upside down. I was overwhelmed, but it was my fear for my career that brought me to tears.
As a senior resident, I had committed to an additional year of training in reproductive psychiatry and women’s mental health. My pregnancy, I feared, had put this subspecialty training in jeopardy. My fellowship accepted only one doctor each year, and I worried that my training directors would be disappointed in me. “They’re going to think I did this on purpose,” I thought to myself, afraid of being perceived as a saboteur.